Long rail journeys are generally very boring. They tend to get all the more abominable when you are travelling in a second class with each seat packed with 5 people, 4 of which are travelling without reservation. Needless to say, you are the one with the reservation.

Recently, while undertaking one such journey, I came across a person travelling without a ticket sitting diagonally opposite me along with a couple of his other friends. For the first 15 minutes, I simply thought of getting up and swinging a roundhouse kick across their respective heads just like Chuck Norris. But then, I just decided to bear them. They seemed to be very well informed about the happenings around the world.

One of them sparked off a discussion on the Baba Ram Rahim row, wherein one of the Baba's bodyguards shot dead a man in a shopping mall. The guy, who was gonna be the target of my kick, came up with a fantastic point. He said and I quote - "In my opinion, when someone has decided to spend his life meditating day-in-day-out and preaching his followers and dons the regard of a BABA, it implies that he has decided to spend his life serving God and His people. The word BABA makes people believe that this man is so close to God that maybe by following him they too can serve God and wash away their sins.".

Till this point, I felt that he was saying something I may have thought about at some time or the other. But then came a barrage of questions that were worth quite more -
"If this guy has decided to be called a BABA and he claims being close to God, why the hell does he need 2 cars full of bodyguards ? "
"Why does he stop people from entering the shopping mall when he is shopping ? Why is he afraid that someone might hurt him ?"
"Why did he have to take refuge in Mysore when he knew one of his bodyguards had made a mistake ? Why is he trying to protect a criminal ?"

No one had an answer to these rhetorical questions and the man had proven his point.

The questions are worth a thought though.......

The Morning Saga....

Picture this – “It is just about time for the sun to rise. You are comfortably nestled in your bed. The fan is on full blow and a cool natural breeze blowing through the window adds to the comfort. The annoying cricket has disappeared. You are having just the perfect early morning sleep.”

I was having one of the many such perfect mornings a few weeks ago. Suddenly, I was shaken by the shrill noise of the phone alarm. It was time to go for a jog. Initially I just ignored it. But, the manufacturers of Nokia probably considered this to be normal with many people (Thank God!! I am normal) and therefore made sure the volume of the alarm increases from “subtle” to “unbearable”. Unable to take it any more, I just grabbed the phone and hit the “Snooze” button. “Snooze” is just a polite word for “Shut up…I will deal with you later…” The sadistic grin of having shut the alarm appeared on my face before I dozed off again. But, alas, it was so short-lived… The alarm took off again in 5 minutes….That’s so sadistic of Nokia to set the snooze period to just 5 minutes. I just hit the Snooze button and yet again the next time… Finally, out of frustration, I hit the “Stop” button. The ultimate solution to my problem.

But, then, looking at my weight increasing exponentially, I really wanted to go for a jog. So, I finally managed to drag myself out of the bed and headed towards brushing my teeth. While brushing my teeth, the dream that I had conceived while sleeping re-appeared before my eyes. It continued from where it left off. Suddenly, I shuddered when I heard someone from behind saying “Deepshu, so gaye kya????” I opened my eyes and it was my Mom. I had fallen asleep while brushing my teeth. I know that’s so unlikely, but it’s true. However, ashamed that I was, I got up with a start, got into my tracks and went out for that impending jog. I must admit that getting up early is tough, but the feeling that one experiences during and after a jog is so serene and satisfying. It makes you feel that you are already a few pounds lighter. But, don’t you fall for that, as it is not very true.

The next few days were easy and I was quite regular. Then came the weekend and I thought of giving myself a break since I had been quite regular throughout the week. Before I could realize, the weekend had zoomed off faster than a Ferrari, and here I was on a Sunday night, setting my alarm for the next day. The next day, the same process repeated itself and found me trying to get myself out of the bed. I did manage that and went through the entire brushing phase without any problem. I washed my face to make sure I did not feel sleepy. It worked. I got into my track pants. I was ready to put on my shoes and leave. I noticed that I was ready about 5-8 minutes earlier than my usual time. I decided to lie down for 5 minutes. There...that’s the mistake I made. I, immediately, started feeling sleepy and the effect of the face-wash had started fading. I got up after 5 minutes and went to my room to sleep through the next 2 hours. You guessed it right; I did skip my jog yet again.
After I got up, I would normally curse myself, but instead I felt… “Aaah...wow….that was good…”

Quite some time has passed since these incidents happened and I am fairly regular now.
I manage to go about 5 days a week. How did I manage to find a solution to my “morning saga” problem??
Well, 3 out the the 5 times, I go in the evening ….it’s much easier….

“Saamp bhi mar gaya aur lathi bhi nahi tooti….”……

Mix-ology or Crap-ology

Sheeesh...!!! Its been quite some time since I have posted in this space. Well, to say the least, I have been tied up with a lot of boring activities which lynched most of my time. Now that I have managed to break free from all the shackles, the first thing on my mind was to get back to blogging. So, here I am, writing again. It may not be something I am great at, but it’s just like a dope. You hate it, or love it, it’s addictive.

Over the past few days I have seen some horrible movies – December Boys , Krazzy 4 (it surely drove me crazy) and some good ones like Ironman, Race. The other thing I have spent some time on over the past few weeks is reading. I recently started reading and I must admit, it’s a lot more fun than I initially expected it to be. I have gone through a couple of interesting reads and some not-so-interesting ones. In the process of it, I realized that the one thing that surely makes me dislike a book, against most avid readers, is something utterly unrealistic (not exactly fantasy).

For instance, I recently read a book called
“The fundas of Mix-ology. What bartending teaches you that IIM does not...”.
It starts off well describing a group of guys, one of them being the protagonist, who work for a very reputed firm – “Dynamix”. The protagonist has always taken the safe route for his career, and ultimately lands up in this firm. However, he has always wanted to be a published author, but never had the guts to quit his lucrative and comfortable job. Till this point the story is believable, a bit slow though.

Suddenly, one day he meets with an accident and then finds himself in a strange location. He is further bewildered when he is told that he is dead, although he wasn’t meant to be. It was a mistake on the part of the company to which this work had been “outsourced”. Yeah, right … God has outsourced his work to agencies now, which make mistakes…. My 3 year old niece would like to hear this as part of her bed-time stories.

Later, as the agencies are figuring out a way to send him back to life, he decides to kill time by watching the possible options for his future – will he be a writer or not ? He does not like any of the options he sees and just wants to stay there. Hahahahahahahahaha….Is he in school ? It does not end here. He is then sent back to his life on earth. Circumstances make him believe that all that he saw up there was not a dream. It was actually true. Now, this just knocked me off….

I think there was a movie based on this story in the 90s where Kadar Khan played Yamdoot who had come to earth to hunt for..eh…I think, Chiranjeevi….(The famous actor from South).
I am having a hard time remembering it's name .. Please let me know if you can recollect...
I have no doubt about the author’s writing skills. He surely has good writing abilities.

But, the story, as he rightly accepts in the book itself, is something no one except he himself can believe.

-Deepesh

CNN-IBN Freedom Blogs

Hey folks,
CNN IBN had invited Freedom Blogs on the occassion of Independence Day. I decided to write down my thoughts about our country. Apparently, they picked it and have posted it on their site. I don't know if they have selected all of them or is it random or is it because liked the article. So, I won't brag about the same :-). Here's a link to my article

http://www.ibnlive.com/blogs/iday2007/blog_story.php?id=46778

If you go back one page, you can view some more blogs, a few are very well written - Worth a read..!!!

-Deepesh.

The tyranny of Auto-drivers

It may be an abrupt start, but I really don't want to waste any time in getting to the point. For the past few weeks, I have been travelling from home to work and back via autorickshaws. 22 years in this city and let's say, I have been travelling by ricks since 1999 - a long 8 years, I have never witnessed the attitude of rickshaw drivers that I have seen in this period of time. Let me paint you a picture of the conversations I had with rickshaw-walas everyday -

Week 1 : I am a newbie....

Me : Magarpatta City ???
RW : 25 Rs extra.
Me : It's 9.00 A.M ..Not P.M...Are you kidding me ?
RW : turning his face around "Aana hai toh aao..."

We all must have read or heard about the comity among these folks sometime or the other. I got to play the victim this time. I had to come to terms with him. Trust me, if one of them says no, none will agree.

Week 2 : I act smart..But, they are smarter...

Me : Hadapsar ??
RW : Hadapsar mein kahan ?
Me : Near Hadapsar signal ....Sundar Sankul
(I did not want to mention Magarpatta City..Sundar Sankul is a residential complex near Magarpatta City).
RW : 20 Rs extra...
Me : Why should I pay you extra ?? It's not even late night ...
RW : We don't find customers back from there. And the Rickshawwalas there don't allow us to occupy positions at their stops/stands.
Me : What crap?? Let's go..Let me see who stops you..
After some argument, I had to agree for 15 Rs extra..

Week 3 : A bit more smarter .. I hid my I-card and tried to pull the right chords...

Same conversation happened and he asked me for extra money...
Me : I am one of your first customers for the day. If you say no, you might have to bear the brunt of an ill-omened day. (They have a concept called BONI or something similar, where-in the first customer for the day is to be treated with respect. I capitalized on that)
RW : (thinking....) Okay, fine..Let's go..!!!

This argument did not work with everyone though, so I knew I had to come up with something new to survice my final week....

Week 4 : The final week...Not a single Rejection..Yippie...

Same initial conversation..
RW : Where in Hadapsar ??
Me : MegaCentre ..It's right at the signal...
RW : Okay, fine ..Let's go...
Once, we reached the front gate of MegaCentre..
Me : Arrey...Shit..The front gate is closed to outsiders..You will have to take the backside route..
The backside gate is through Magarpatta city..I'll guide you..
RW : (looked baffled) Aaahh..okay...!!!

Finally, he dropped me at Magarpatta city and left. I knew what I had done was wrong in general, but, the animosity that had filled me up over these days had forced me to do so.

I must admit that on a couple of instances, I had my share of good luck with acquiescent rickshaw-walas.
But, on the contrary, one of the instances is worth describing :
One evening, a rickshaw-wala agreed to go by regular fare and on the way, he told me to pay him extra. I refuted adamantly. He argued incessantly and gave irrelevant arguments like
"Hum gareeb hain..!! Main public service karta hoon...Aapki regular salary hai..Hamari baat samjho...bla bla bla..".
The yapping got intolerable and I had to tell him to shut-up or stop the rick. I, definitely, did not want him to stop the rick, since that would land me in a little-or-no-transport zone. Fortunately, he carried on. On reaching home, he refused to pay back the whole balance. It was a meagre amount, but I had already had enough of this crap. I saw a couple of cops standing close-by and threatened to call them. Afraid that he was, he returned the amount. Infact, he even offered me extra money......
Till date, I cannot understand the reason behind this change of attitude and mendicant-like behaviour. What makes them do this ?? And most of you might not know, but these folks make a neat 15-17K each month. Even if we deduct the overhauling and diesel charges, they are left with 10K.
I have learnt a lesson and I hope that people who read this blog will be more careful in the future.

-Deepesh.

A Passion worth 15 lakhs....

Hey,
Did any of you happen to read an article regarding a loaded Jalandhar wastrel dishing out 15 lacs for a cool cellphone number ? And the reason for this outlay - he got a compliment from a friend for one of his earlier numbers, which he found easy to remember. Wooow..!!!!
Give it a thought - how easy or cumbersome would it be for someone to remember a cellphone number ?
My first argument would be - who the hell remembers phone numbers ? I mean, as far as I am aware, everyone stores them in their cellphones.
Secondly, anyone who calls you often, eventually might remember your number. So, the onus, if I may say so, is on the caller, not on the one holding the number.
On the other hand, I appreciate his allegiance towards his passion. He claims to be fond of collecting such unique numbers. Anyone who does not share his passion, like me, would not agree with him. For instance, I am passionate about cellphones and like to switch frequently. So, anyone, who is not of the same view, would consider me a lamebrain and a spendthrift.
Coming back to this lad's case, the passion seems to have landed him in trouble. Well, the Income Tax department guys are known to be lurking for such preys. So, a week past this news came out, they sniffed their way to his doorstep, only to find that its not only cellphone numbers, its cars as well. Apparently, he has fleet of cars, all bearing unparalleled numbers.
I am unable to fathom the amount he might have had to shell out for these numbers considering he paid a whopping 15 lacs for cellphone numbers.
Man, what is wrong with him?? 15 lacs ?? for just numbers ?? that too for someone else's convenience ???
On the one hand, we have a plethora of schemes being launched by all the cellphone companies to make sure their customers can stay away from lengthier bills and on the other hand, we have people who are willing to cover up for the possible losses of these operators. Fair enough...!!Going by that, the more people start bidding for cellphone numbers, the cellphone charges will plummet further. Good for you and me..what say?

-Deepesh.

BROTHERS-in-RIVALS

How often do we hear about brothers turning hostile due to reasons like money, ego, politics, et al ? More often than not, this animosity is driven by 2 major factors - MONEY and POLITICS. The incident that rings a bell almost instantaneously is the Pramod-Pravin Mahajan saga. Most of us are aware of it. There is one such BROTHERS-in-RIVALS story that many of us might not be congnizant of.
The story dates back to 1924, Herzogenaurach -
Two brothers decided to enter into a joint venture. Belonging to a family of cobblers and having garnered significant experience in this area, it was only logical of them to venture into the world of shoes. They called their company Dassler Brothers Shoe Factory. Their business boomed in some time and letters started pouring in from people interested in buying their shoes. Soon, they were selling 200,000 pairs of shoes a year. MONEY having played it cards well, it was time for POLITICS to step in. (Remember, MONEY and POLITICS - Hey, that makes up "MP"). Both the brothers were members of the Nazi party. During the World War II, the brothers were driven by dubitable situations and a series of misinterpretations transforming them into rivals. What next? - They decided to go separate ways and split the company. Each one took his share and took it off from there own his own. Ironically, both the companies are business rivals today and one of the most successful shoe manufacturers.
Don't you want to know the names of these BROTHERS-in-RIVALS and which companies do they own ?
Let me put an end to all speculation -
The elder one is - Rudolph Dassler - PUMA
The younger one is - Adolf Dassler - ADIDAS
Today, both these companies deal in sportswear, shoes, accessories of superior quality and and are equally preponderant.
This makes me contemplate - what would they have done together?

-Deepesh.